I could have sat there for days- weeks- months. Looking back maybe in a way I did.
It has actually been years since I have truly picked up a pencil and put it to paper without a plan, but rather just marking the ominous blank canvas.
I had forgotten how therapeutic it is; The release of pent-up anxiety and fear of the unknown. Allowing fingers to flow and the brain to unwind all the thoughts that have been running circles.
It may not look like much, but underneath is heart, soul, and creativity waiting to be discovered.
This mark is just the beginning. One step in a new journey.
Much like our journey with our son. We have just scratched the surface of his world- the depths to be discovered are unfathomable.
Some discoveries will hurt and we will try to erase them. However, we all know the paper is never the same once that mark has been made.
Thus the freezing anxiety of our blank canvas. He’s so perfect as he is- I’m petrified I will mess him up. But God knows I can’t keep him in a glass box on display.
Life is inherently messy. So the mark must be made and the step must be taken.
So it is done and we will carry on in the grace of God.